It’s 12:37 on the morning after Christmas. I’ve spent all day and evening with my loved and have spent the last few hours listening to Sufjan Stevens on vinyl and watching Scrubs on Netflix.

I can’t sleep. 

It might be the 16 ounces of coffee and 20 ounces of Mountain Dew Voltage, but I’ll blame it on an uncontrollable urge to write for a bit as the New Year draws near. 2012 will mark 24 years of breathing, 5 years post-high school and 1 year post-Montevallo. All this time has taught me so much. I’m learning to be comfortable in my own skin, learning to take risks, and learning not to be afraid of failure and to trust in grace. Those 3 lessons have come in the last year or so thanks to wise counsel from a variety of sources. 

For this upcoming year, I want to learn how to finish the things that I start. I set myself up for a lot of goals and plans, but probably abandon 50-60% of them only a quarter into the action stage. I talk way too much about goals instead of silently working on them. 

Maybe I love comfort too much and can’t stand the idea of change in more ways than I care to admit. I know this fear affects a good amount of people, but I don’t want it to anymore and I know you don’t want to affect you either.

So let’s change things. Let’s develop a fiery, inextinguishable passion for living and thriving. Let’s put ourselves out on a limb. Let us march forward on the path set by the One who knows that everything will be alright in the end. Let us complete what we dream and let us not be disappointed when some of the results are not exactly what we wanted. Let us not be afraid of failure; let us be afraid of not trying. 

V1:

Why do we fear progress?

Why do we hate change?

We will start to regress

If we don’t play the game

This is the time for learning

What it means to be alive

Feel the passion burning

We must do more than just survive

Chorus

There must be so much more than this

SImple pleasures and simple days

Don’t remorse over opportunities missed

Look for treasures in roads unpaved

V2:

I am so tired of failing

But it’s the only way I seem to learn

I hear your voice trailing

Maybe it’s time I made a turn

At times my heart’s made of the hardest stone

But you know the ends and out

You sought me and named me as your own

Loved me despite my doubts

Chorus

There must be so much more than this

SImple pleasures and simple days

Don’t remorse over opportunities missed

Look for treasures in roads unpaved

I think this might be one of the most honest songs I have ever written. Please let me know what you think:

V1:
There is no one I’d rather run to 
But I get lost along the way
There is no one I’d rather sing to
But I forget the words and what to say

Chorus:
In these times of darkness, You should
Be the first name I call upon 
But You’re often the last
Yet You decide to pursue me
Despite the weight
Of my tattered past.

V2:
There is no one I’d rather serve
But I’m a house divided that cannot stand
You who give me
What I don’t deserve
Grace flows freely from Your hand. 

Chorus:
In these times of darkness, You should
Be the first name I call upon 
But You’re often the last
Yet You decide to pursue me
Despite the weight
Of my tattered past.

V3/Bridge

There is no one I’d rather run to
There is no one I’d rather serve
There is no one I’d rather sing to 
You give me what I don’t deserve

There is so much more that I want to do

But there are days when I’m scared to reach out and try

Maybe if I started trusting in God

Instead of just saying I believe in Him

Things might not get easier

But at least they’ll be better

I don’t want to be terrified of living

Terrified of breathing

Terrified of the unknown

Here’s to moving forward

Discovering the beauty of what lies ahead

I struggle with memories of my failures

But it was my transgressions that had me

Running into Your arms

Maybe if I turned my mistakes into lessons

I’m not in school anymore

But I still have so much to learn

I don’t want to be terrified of living

Terrified of breathing

Terrified of the unknown

Here’s to moving forward

Discovering the beauty of what lies ahead

Hey guys,

Hope everyone is having a good summer so far. I just wanted to give you a quick word about a project I’ve been working on for a few weeks.

I am planning on releasing a compilation cd of local and regional songwriters and bands to benefit the victims of the April 27th tornados.  We saw the images on TV. We’ve carried the pain of those who have experienced great loss in our hearts. We even pass by the damage every day if we live close to it.

I want to help out in some way, so inspired by Caleb Chancey’s The Wind Will Carry The Voice of The People project (which featured several prominent Birmingham and Nashville singer/songwriters), I’ve decided to reach out to my musician friends to collect songs for a relief effort.

The compilation album will feature songs from the following (still hoping to get more artists on board):

Myself

Humanities (Zac Upton)

Red Rover

Jordan Barrios

Fire Mountain

Arthur Alligood

Austin Murphey

Drew Granthum

Giants and Toys

Matt Sanderlin

The Quiet Words

Besides Daniel

Matt Francisco

Vines

The release date will be somewhere between June 10th and 15th and will be available for digital download on Bandcamp. Cost has yet to be determined, but it will be no more than $5-10. All proceeds will benefit the AL Red Cross’s tornado relief effort.

Verse 1:

In the search for authenticity,

We get lost in the crowd.

Our hearts full of electricity

We don’t know if we should live

Quiet or loud

Am I showing you the real me

Or am I wearing a mask?

Don’t go by what’s in a profile

Just be willing to ask.

Chorus:

We all want to find a purpose

That will fill our hearts with love.

And we must realize someone’s bridged the gap

Between here and above

Verse 2:

There’s a light within this darkness

That doesn’t shine bright at first

But in the desert of a broken heart

It’s the only thing that can quench thirst

I can’t put my hope in things

That will crumble like the Berlin Wall

I have to stick with the ones

Who love me even when I fall

Chorus

Bridge:

Hold strong

Breathe deep

The battle’s not over

But soon you will see

You’ve won

A hard-earned victory

Chorus 2:

We all want to find a purpose

That will fill our hearts with love.

We’ve got to realize someone’s

Bridged the gap

Between here and what’s above.

In the moments when we’re inconsistent

We must choose to perservere

We must brave the distance

To extinguish all of these fears.

As I enter the last few months of my college career, I cannot help but think about the future. Part of discovering the next steps includes a few moments of self-reflection. We’re all on the verge of self-discovery, but I just want to figure out the person I am at this point in my life.

Who is Chris K. Davidson?

An imperfect follower of Christ who is in the process of sanctification and daily reconciliation (most of the time).

A son who has parents and an extended family who love him more than he allows himself to believe.

A student who gets overwhelmed and anxious with grades to the point of inactivity, yet manages to keep a good GPA.

A friend who tries to be many things to different people. Sometimes loyalty gets the best of me and my efforts to please everybody contradict themselves.

A musician who loves to play guitar and write songs about life, hope, and redemption. These songs are often words he desperately tries to put into practice, but he does not often let them latch onto his heart and motivations. So he sings them louder and prays for grace to overwhelm him.

———————————————————————————————————————-

I love to be creative, though I sometimes back away from displaying acts of creativity because I think my ideas won’t measure up to a self-imposed standard. I have a fierce confidence when I finally let go of the insecurity, but getting to that point takes an eternity it seems.

I feel like I’ve regressed over the last few years. I used to want to be in the center of the aciton. I wanted to experience true adventure. But then I began to focus too much on the opinions of others. I’ve spoken less and withdrawn more. I have the ability to get back to where I was. i just have to be willing to act.

I remember the moments in my life where God felt incredibly close. We spent hours together. I was passionate about what He was doing in my life and the lives of others around me. But then I became self-conscious about what people would think of my faith; that it wasn’t genuine, that it was ignorant, that it was wrong. So I backed off. I let doubt seep in. Now I’m learning that it is dangerous to be consumed with what others think. Only the acceptance and love of God matter; I don’t have to wait to be accepted. He sees me as righteous through the work of Christ.

It is better to live your life to the hilt than be indecisive. Indecisiveness never equals progress. I’ve lost many opportunities because of stalling and ho-humming.

I am not completely sure who I will be in the next five years, but I want more than simple happiness. I want contentment. I want joy. I want to not be chained down by the regrets of events that happened upteen years ago. I can’t change them. I must exorcise the ghosts of my past.

“Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead… Yesterday is dead and over.” -Switchfoot

This past year gave me a chance to look over and (over)analyze my time at Montevallo. It was incredible. I made some lifelong friends for whom I am eternally grateful. I accomplished some things my high self probably never thought I would (play shows, fly to LA, be an orientation leader, interview awesome local bands, spend some time in Guatemala, join a fraternity, be a VP of a fraternity). I felt there were several moments I could have done more. But the more I allow my regrets to tear at my soul, the more time is wasted. I have to move forward. I did the best I could. Here’s to the next stage and the new era.

Thanks to all who have made the journey so far excellent and memorable. You guys are awesome.

How magnificent is the passion of Your heart
You mesmerize the very core of my being
Calling, beckoning, drawing me near to the center of Your Grace.
Each morning brings a fresh coat that explodes with the dawn.
Not the creation of man, but the Creator of humanity,
You sing into our souls promises, truth, redemption, and justice.
We stand in awe, silent, because we know our limited vocabulary
Can never fully express the majesty of Your character
Mighty to save You delight in giving us everything we ever need.
Never holding back, You only ask a portion of this generosity from us.
Bring us into the brilliance and radiance of Your presence.
Let us raise our voices as one
As You capture our souls,
And let us forever be satisfied.